Overcoming FEAR of the Unknown
I spent the year of 2018 living in the void of the unknown … and it wasn’t easy! I had made my decision in 2017 to move to France; to sell up my house and let go of a lot of my possessions and to say goodbye to loved ones. I didn’t know anything about my life beyond selling my house and flying to France for 3 months in February 2018.
Everything was unknown – SCARY!
It is a scary place to be when you do not know:
- where you are going to live, other than a totally new country where you don’t speak the language
- how you are going to earn money to live on
- who will be in your life
I had literally thrown everything I knew up in the air, because it wasn’t working for me in Melbourne, and moved boldly into the unknown – that void with no plans, no structure, no definites … but also total freedom and openness to new opportunities.
The void of the unknown is a place we avoid.
It’s that place where we simply do not know what is going to happen and what we are going to do. It takes us completely out of our comfort zone.
Our comfort zone is that “safe place”, usually, simply because we know it. It may not even be that comfortable. Sometimes we stay in a very uncomfortable comfort zone – like a job we don’t like, working for a boss who brings us down or in a relationship we don’t feel happy in.
Because it is known!
Because what is outside is unknown!
Because we have a barrier around that comfort zone that is FEAR!
That FEAR can take many forms: fear of rejection, failure, embarrassment, maybe even fear of success, and several more you can probably think of.
So, this fear barrier stops us from moving out and moving on and moving up. It prevents us from growing because when we step into The Unknown we find our Growth Zone. That is when we give ourselves permission to grow. It is not in our Comfort Zone – we rarely accomplish growth there.
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real
Our fear is based on us imagining the worst outcomes.
So, if it is only imagining certain outcomes, why can’t we choose to imagine the best outcomes instead of the worst?
If you have read my other blogs on https://janeensonsie.com, you will be aware of how starting in 2017, I stepped out of my comfort zone into the unknown to create the life I wanted to live. That is still a work in progress … because it is a big dream with BIG BIG changes in my life, but now I am living in France, loving where I live and so happy to be building Club MojoCircle. I have grown so much.
If you haven’t read my previous blogs of my story, the 2-second summary is:
- I gave up my business,
- sold my house and
- let go of half of my belongings,
- had to re-home my beloved 15yo cat (who unfortunately died 2 weeks after my move to France at the beginning of 2019),
- leave everyone I knew, including elderly and unwell parents (both of whom also died in 2019 after I left)
- create a totally new life in France.
All because that had been my dream for many, many years and I felt I had to go and circumstances were forcing me to go then too. For an overview read Blogs The Decision, The 2011 Vision and The Big Letting Go at my janeensonsie.com blog site.
I Took Action and Boldly Stepped into the Unknown … without FEAR
So where did all that action leave me? Living in the UNKNOWN … big time. While I was in Nice for 3 months in 2018, I was in an enormous void. I still managed to have fun though 😉
When I made the decision to move to France, I did not know how I was going to do it all. I did not have a visa to live in France. I did know (in my heart and intuition) that it would all work out fine because I knew I was meant to live in France.
At the beginning of that year, I had planned as far ahead as deciding to go to Nice for 3 months (the most I was allowed to stay with no visa) to learn French. I only chose Nice because I had a Facebook friend there, Corinne, who I had not actually met in person.
Beyond that, I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know if or how I would get the visa I needed. I didn’t know which city or region in France I would live in when I returned to France or what sort of property I would be living in. I knew I wanted to buy a property and renovate/restore it but I also realized that was not something to just jump straight into. I first had to decide where.
I knew I wanted to build some form of a coaching business that helps people create the life they want to live, but I wasn’t sure exactly how I would create it and when I would be earning money. Being new to the country and trying to settle in myself and make major life decisions meant it would all take time. Therefore, I didn’t know where my income would come from.
Trying to Operate Functionally in The Unknown
For a while there it was all a bit overwhelming. When you just don’t know where or how your life is going – I only knew I was following my dream – it can feel like a bit of a black hole … but I knew I wasn’t losing myself in it. I did know that I was on the right path for me, for my purpose and for my soul. So I had to consciously stay in the present moment to enjoy that (and there was plenty to enjoy) and keep my faith in my dream and destination, even though I didn’t know exactly where that destination was within France.
Was Nice My “French Home”?
Nice was lovely and pretty and fun and I made some really nice friends there, but it was not where my heart is. I didn’t feel that sense of “being home” in Nice.
After sitting in the void of not knowing what I was going to do for several months, I decided I should come back to Nice when I got my visa. I had a business idea of creating a social community for expat women that seemed like good business idea and the Cote d’Azur seemed like a great place to start it with so many expats living there. Also, at least I was a somewhat familiar with Nice and had some lovely friends there, so not all was unknown anymore.
That business idea has now become Club MojoCircle!
It is like my ideal job and is still helping people create the life they want to live. I have ended up living in Vence and I really love it. Nice was not actually my place to be here.
Changing your life completely is complicated. You need to remain calm and go with the flow – accepting of what has happened, surrendering to how it is right now and letting go of expectations and what is not supporting you.
How interesting it is when you take actions in the right dirextion but still relax and allow the Universe to bring the opportunities to us? How exciting can it be? Of course, that doesn’t mean do nothing. Be very active in creating the life you want to live.
How to beat FEAR in the UNKNOWN?
It is necessary to:
- surrender to sitting in the void of the unknown
- stop yourself from imagining the worst outcomes
- focus on what you want
- keep your focus on the life you want to create
- stay in the present, with gratitude for what you do have
… to allow yourself to grow and expand in yourself and life, beyond your comfort zone prison.
My dream is ever present, although I realize I need to allow the “how” to continue to develop whilst I remain open to exploring the opportunities as they arise. It is all new and the unknown is not so bad once you’ve settled in for a bit. It allows for new and exciting paths without the expectations that lead to disappointment. It actually creates a new, energizing freedom of being open to what may come.